Self-Reflection & Dreams
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Establishing What Your Want Leads to Fulfilling It
Perspective – Reflect on: Who You Are and What You Want (in Partnership)
Practical Tips – Self-Reflection That Turns into Active Fulfillment
Me, Circa 2019: Self-Reflecting that I Want to be a Hipster
Perspective — Reflect on: Who You Are and What You Want (in Partnership)
A lot of people live spontaneously and open themselves to whatever they encounter. But a time comes when you might get stuck, whether already in a romantic relationship or seeking one.
So it can help to reflect on what you really want and would fulfill you, in your current or future partnership.
Some areas you might think through are:
Financial management
Physicality (intimacy and also athleticism, going out or staying in, etc)
Faith, politics, life style
"Love language" (e.g. quality time, gifts, acts of service, etc.)
Household labor division
Dreams that you would want to fulfill together (creative, travel, children, home-building, etc)
Clearly, these are just a few examples out of infinite areas.
And you might not have all of them fulfilled.
Case in point: A friend of mine had a lot in common with her life partner from the start. Still, she found herself fantasizing of an imaginary romantic figure, sweeping her off her feet. She decided to dig into why she felt the need to escape in her mind's eye. She got therapy. She had conversations with her husband and learned how to ask for what she wanted without casting guilt or blame on him. She let go of the empty illusions and dived into adventures and a concrete romance with the partner she already had. She discovered herself, him, and them together.
Practical Tactics — Self-Reflection That Turns into Active Fulfillment
Reflect on what you want in areas of partnership (you can use the examples above if it helps).
You can reflect in stillness: go to a place deep within your imagination. Using your five senses, picture what you desire in romantic partnership, how it feels.
Or, you can reflect by talking to someone neutral and comfortable for you who can help you imagine what you want in a relationship. If possible, have them record it and write it down.
If you are dating online, use what you've imagined in your profile text.
In online dating, post photos of yourself in the contexts, settings, and activities you imagined to attract the right attention.
In dating or in a relationship, you can take what you've reflected on and have a conversation with your partner without demand or blame, but curiosity. Ask your partner how they feel, what they think about your ideas. Ask for what you want, knowing that they might need understanding of why you want what you want and how to provide it.
Much of the time, relationship fulfillment involves embracing imperfection, acceptance as you are, how your life is, and if you're in a partnership, how your
Want in depth online dating insights? Your Love Breakthrough: Effective Online Dating Strategies is available on Amazon.
What you have you missed? Check out past email messages from Christy Sanborn Grassman.