Clean Your Side of the Street
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Self-Reflection Strengthens You & Your Partnership
Perspective – Be The Right Person. Find the right person
Practical Tactics – Applying The Self-Reflection Habit to Dating & Relationships
It's Hard Work, But The Street Will Sparkle!
Perspective — Be The Right Person. Find the right person
Self-reflection helps you identify your desires and seek their fulfillment. It also helps to distinguish what is your responsibility vs your current or future partner's, especially when it comes to conflict.
A wise person who shall remain nameless, whose initials are "Colin Grassman", calls this "cleaning your side of the street".
It's vulnerable yet liberating to look squarely at your part in a conflict and own it. Warning: at first, it might be "ouch" or unpalatable or scary. Depending on your background or your partner's attitude, you might open yourself up to them gloating in their apparent rightness and your "wrongness".
But counterintuitively, it's empowering. Instead of taking someone else's blame (even when they want you to), you own exactly what is yours and you get to manage it.
It's Hard Work, But The Street Will Sparkle!
It's an opportunity to grow in humility and extend a bridge of trust. It can have the affect of your partner feeling relief and deciding to follow suit and "clean his or her side of the street." If you're single, it's a huge opportunity for you to practice taking responsibility for your actions and recognizing potential matches who are prone to take responsibility for their actions, too.
Case in point: A long time ago on a first date, a guy I met told me enough about himself to cause me to end the connection. Instead, I moved forward for all the wrong reasons (I wasn't even attracted to him). He ultimately berated, blamed and criticized me constantly and denied his responsibility. It took time for me to realize that it was my choice to date him when I had clear warning to cut him off from day one. When I owned my part, it was easier to let go of the powerlessness and victim mentality.
Practical Tactics — Applying The Self-Reflection Habit to Dating & Relationships
When you feel offended or you are in a conflict, take deep diaphragm breaths or step away. Really think about your part.
Know that owning your part, cleaning your side of the street, doesn't declare the other party's innocence.
Tell the other party, without casting blame on them, what your part in the conflict was. Apologize.
Incorporate this practice into your everyday life. Practicing this will make you feel more powerful and set you free.
If you are single, you can use this as a litmus in choosing partner who knows how to take responsibility, too.
If you are in a partnership where you are both cleaning your sidewalk, it's going be a lovely street to take a stroll down, together. But cleaning your side of the street will still bring you a measure of relief and power that no one else can provide.
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