Partnership Is a Mirror
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Partnership Is A Mirror
Perspective – Clarify Distorted Reflection with Partnership
Practical Tactics – Identify and Apply Clear Reflections
Here's Looking at You and Me, Kid
Perspective
Reflecting to Each Other in Partnership
All of us have blind spots about ourselves. We see ourselves through an overly critical or flattering lens, a little or a lot.
A second pair of eyes helps us see ourselves. We need someone trustworthy to be our mirror.
In a romantic partnership even in online communications and dating, inevitably the other person will pipe up with an observation about us that we want or do not want to hear.
No one has better insight to than a trusted, committed partner. You help each other clear out that metaphorical piece of spinach in your teeth--in private. Your partner who accepts you, spinach and all, will help you be your best self out in the world.
Case in point: It is hard for me to find a way to exercise because of my physical challenge, and I discovered that the exercise bike I thought was my answer to exercise was actually injuring me. I declared I would just stop exercising. What was the difference? My husband begged me not to give up. He knew I felt better when I exercised. He didn't come from negative judgment or fear that my appearance would slide. I sensed his care for my well-being. Because he held that mirror up to me in love, it encouraged me to find a sustainable alternative exercise practice.
Practical Tactics
Since no one is or has a perfectly sweet partner to say the exact right thing to motivate change within us all the time, or since many of us don't have partners, how do we put this concept into practice?
Identify and Apply Accurate Reflections
Determine if the feedback about you comes from a place of love, from a place of knowing you, and objectivity. If not, it's like drinking a green smoothie with poison in it. Don't take it.
Sometimes even loving words confront our shortcomings in ways that don't feel good (is it enjoyable to drink a green smoothie? Right.) So how do you know?
One way: there's a saying: "If someone calls you a frog, they're delusional. If two people call you a frog, it's a coincidence. If three people call you a frog, you're a frog." The more sources that give you feedback, the more possible that there's truth in it. *This only works if the sources are reliable.
If you don't have a partner, or your partner is critical, gather supportive, honest platonic sources to speak truth to you.
If you're searching for a partner, seek one who can share honest opinions kindly.
Be brave to receive love and the truth. By discovering truths about yourself, you learn and grow as you couldn't without that gentle mirror reflecting you.
If you haven't signed up for messages, Sign up to get uplifting messages from Christy Sanborn Grassman.
What you have you missed? Check out past email messages from Christy Sanborn Grassman.