Embrace the Power of One
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Embrace the Power of One
Perspective – Confront the negative in the online dating environment
Practical Tips – Be effective instead of just being affected… negatively.
One Singular Sensational You.
Perspective — Confront the negative in the online dating environment
Let’s not pretend that online dating is just fun and games to anyone who is on the lookout for a fulfilling long-term relationship. That initial entrance to an online app or site can feel either overwhelming or exciting—so many prospects. So many strangers.
The bleak reality often sets in—you notice patterns of profiles coming at you that disappoint, come-ons that disgust, and abandoned communications that discourage.
You don’t have to succumb to victimhood of all the negative. It’s the power of singularity. Not “being single” (as in “uncoupled”). “Singularity” refers to the power of One.
“All it takes is One”… was the mantra we chanted in eHarmony customer care. Who cares if you get one communication or zillions… you’re only looking for one person to be happy with long-term.
In the present moment, you’re still searching for "the One". Meanwhile, you have a captive audience, so instead of feeling slimed, turn it around into you, being that one person--an "influencer" with every single encounter.
Case in point: I remember coming across a profile of a guy who had a visible physical disability. His profile didn’t emulate the prototypical dream-come-true-prince-charming of mainstream society. It occurred to me that he might have a lot of rejections. (I was already into someone else, so I also passed him by.) His photos and words radiated positivity, self-assurance, and care that would attract the right partner to him. He stuck in my memory and has inspired me how powerful it is to commit to being yourself and putting yourself out there without apologies or shame.
Practical Tactics — Be Effective Instead of Just Being Affected… negatively.
First, we’re not talking about being a “social media influencer” in the advertising or self-aggrandizing manner of a Tik-Tok darling or daredevil. It’s not about selling anything—at all, not even selling yourself.
Your primary objective is to find a partner. Meanwhile, embrace your power to spread the message of positivity and love (in the bigger sense).
Post encouraging, fun, or powerful photos, videos, and profile text, with the intent to “bless”, spread cheer, and improve the lives of anyone who comes across it, future spouse or not.
Put online dating in its proper place. Fill your calendar with activities you know you’ll find rewarding. Surround yourself with supporters. It’s fuel for your tank, and make that overflow to the unknown people behind the profiles.
You might be on that app for a day or a week or longer while you look for “the One”. Showing up with a secondary intent in your arsenal makes the most of your online time and may change someone’s else’s life in a small or profound way.
Want in depth online dating insights? Your Love Breakthrough: Effective Online Dating Strategies is available on Amazon.
What you have you missed? Check out past email messages from Christy Sanborn Grassman.