Where Seeds of Love Die
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Where Seeds of Love Die
Perspective – Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Practical Tactics – Right Seed, Wrong Soil?
Not a Future Pumpkin Patch.
Perspective – Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Sometimes you know what kind of relationship, what kind of person you want to share your life with, and how you want to live your life with them.
So you go to the dating apps, bars, or faith groups where you believe logically, you could find them. Maybe someone told you a story about how they met their soulmate there, so you could too. Or maybe, it's feels familiar and "safe", you don't want to spend energy on trying something new.
Every time, you log out or go home lonely and frustrated. But you return and try again.
You're planting seeds in what might have been someone else's fertile ground. But for you, it's pavement, where nothing can grow, just get trampled on.
Of course, while the seed-sowing metaphor depicts soulmate searching, it applies to so many endeavors for singles and couples alike.
Case in point: When I worked at eHarmony, I couldn't use the service because it was a conflict of interests. As soon as I left, I thought finding my soulmate through eHarmony would be poignant. I had insider knowledge that once I turned a certain age, my chances were going to drop from 80% to about .05% to find someone there. I was one year away from "the wrong eHarmony age" when I seriously dated a guy I met through eHarmony. By the time the relationship ended, I was too old. But I still tried. Not only was I the wrong age, a different company bought eHarmony (now "eharmony"), and changed the matching criteria so it no longer worked for me in any way. It was bad soil...for me.
Practical Tactics – Right Seed, Wrong Soil?
Where are you planting your metaphorical seed? Even with the right soil, growing takes time. But eventually, you'll see a tiny sprout peeking out. Put a reasonable time on it, maybe 1 - 3 months, for example.
Calmly observe the "field's" potential:
Nurture that sprout. See what transpires during a reasonable time-frame that you set for yourself.
If you determine that you're sowing on bad land, let go. Brainstorm--use a secure AI search, Google search, or just write out ideas for better ground in a notebook.
Open yourself to quiet thoughts that may return, whispering, "Over here--plant in this land."ssman.
What you have you missed? Check out past email messages from Christy Sanborn Grassman.