The I'ds of March
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Beware The I'ds of March
Perspective – Speculation and Excuses
Practical Tactics – Self-Honesty Turns Possibility into Action
Eat you, Crudité? I'd rather have a Caesar Salad!
Perspective
Speculation and Excuses
The Ides of March are upon us*. But our personal "I'ds" are omnipresent--the what-ifs, like metaphorical knives in the back.
"I'd" statements are speculative:
"I'd only dream of traveling to Paris..."
"I'd prefer to be friendlier..."
"I'd like a life-sized 2018 Hot Wheels 50th Anniversary Camaro...."
"I'd love to swim in a pool of queso..."
Some are negative and even threatening ("I'd rather not...," "I'd watch your back." But we're focusing on the positive I'ds).
They are expressions of potentials and preferences, whether your own or someone else's. The I'ds inform us and warn us.
Case in point:"I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company." Well, good luck with that, 1970s diverse hippy singers in the iconic Coca-Cola commercial. It kind of means nothing. But put it into a more specific scenario, such as a singing teacher saying, "I'd like to teach my pitch-challenged student to sing in perfect harmony," or "I'd like to buy you a Coke and keep you company," now we're looking at more doable "I'ds".
Practical Tactics
Self-Honesty Turns Possibility into Action
I'ds usually betray (yes, another Julius Caesar dad joke) an intention based on a condition: "I'd...if".
You can fulfill your I'ds. Here is a break-down of one possible way:
Identify your relationship I'd (wishes and dreams). If you're uncoupled, it might be qualities you'd like in a romantic partner. If you're coupled, it might be relationship goals. Writing them down makes them visual.
Next, write out what you think required conditions to realize those I'ds might be. What do you think you need to change about yourself, what outside yourself do you believe needs to change? (Brainstorm without editing yourself. What is hindering you from fulfilling your dreams?)
Consider and write next to each condition how likely it is that it's true or false.
If it's likely true, mark down if it's within your control to create a change.
If it's within your control, start writing a plan of how and when to act on them.
With conditions you can't control, practice letting go of them by meditation, prayer, journaling or venting it out to a close friend or therapist (with the intent of releasing it vs. complaining or clinging to negativity).
Even if you don't write these down, it's a suggestion to get you thinking. What is stopping you from the acting on your Id's and what can you do to make them I do's and I did's?
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*The Ides of March refers to March 15...dad joke references are from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.