Speaking Your Truth
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: "Speaking Your Truth"
Perspective – Points of View & Reality
Practical Tactics – Validity & Acceptance
I'm 100% Unique and Right!
Perspective– Points of View & Reality
The phrase "speaking your truth" is trendy. It likely stems from a contemporary inclusion in diversity movement. A vocal branch within this movement discourages articulating disagreement; it could make someone feel hurt or excluded, because (the reasoning goes) expressing an opposing opinion equates to stamping them as wrong and invalid.
An opposing and equally vocal group rolls its eyes: "Of course wrong exists, and being so touchy-feely is a denial of the moral distinction of good and bad."
Both groups claim that their opinion alone is The Truth.
Many ancient cultures allowed room for apparent contradictions or opposite perspectives to all be simultaneously true. We each specialize in knowing an aspect of the collective reality that we share.
So, to "speak your truth" is actually saying, "explaining your point of view"—of what you've witnessed, felt, and how you've interpreted it.
But that doesn't mean that your position is right, or that your interpretations are accurate.
Case in point: I knew someone who was absolutely convinced that a certain fellow was "The One". He had invited her to his parents' cabin and even said "I love you," to her. When she acknowledged their romantic relationship, he was shocked--she should have known he was gay and not romantically interested.
Practical Tactics– Validity & Acceptance
Truth is not so much "yours" or "mine". It's not as much "relative" as "relational". "Relative" speaks of differing realities, whereas relational means that we depend upon each other to exchange pieces of the truth to draw us together in unity.
Being contradicted makes us fear:
Being hated, alienated, or abandoned.
Feeling shamed or humiliated.
Losing our sense of stability. If you discover you've been operating under false assumptions, especially if you've invested deeply in them... all you've done is invalidated (you think).
We face an inherent risk when expressing ourselves. In dating and relationships, it's ideal to find someone who shares our values and beliefs. But when the inevitable conflict arises, the imperatives remain:
Listen with an open mind and heart... to potentially receive another piece of the truth, to expand your (understanding of) the truth.
Commit yourself to embracing the truth at all costs, even when you're proven incorrect (the reward surpasses the cost).
Instead of clinging to judgments and labels, dedicate yourself to getting to know the "substance" of the person.
While a person may be "off" or you disagree with them, prioritize understanding the "why" of what they espouse. Respect them and where they're coming from. Empathy harmonizes us while allowing for differences.
A good friend of mine once said that I'll never forget: "Love overrides accuracy".
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