Powerful Femininity for Everyone
Welcome to Your Love Breakthrough! Get Real. Love.
In this edition: Powerful Femininity for Everyone
Perspective – What Femininity Means
Practical Tactics – Embracing Femininity in You & Your Partner
Perspective– What Femininity Means
Depending on your upbringing and personal beliefs, you have your own perception of the term "femininity" and its connotations.
You may think of a positive or negative feminine figure in your life, as discussed in the email "Mother, May I?"
While ideations of femininity vary, there are some positive qualities thought of as classically or generally feminine that go beyond physical gender. Some of these might be:
Empathy
Emotional Expressiveness
Nurturing
Gentleness
Receptivity
Focus on Beauty and Aesthetics
Diffused Awareness (AKA Multi-Tasking)
...To name just a few.
It gets dicey, though, when we stereotype or assign "you must be like this" or "you must not be like that" according to expectations of others. Definitions and classifications are unavoidable in this world. They can be destructive, and they can be useful and even liberating.
Case in point: When I was a child, I was negatively affected by a popular children's album with stories and songs promoting "women's lib" (short for "women's liberation"). But I received the message that femininity itself (as defined by typical traits) is ridiculous and embarrassing. And also: being born as a female is implicitly a tragic trap you'll never escape from.
As a result, I strained to assume characteristics I thought were more masculine: playing sports, being cool-headed, and strong. I asked my mom if she thought I was feminine, and when she said "yes," I became despondent.
It took me until well into adulthood to open my eyes to the strengths and benefits of femininity that I had mislabeled as flaws and weaknesses. I finally embraced the beauty and creativity I had believed were unessential to life. I internalized that femininity is not inferior to masculinity; it is an equally valuable counterpoint.
Practical Tactics– Embracing Femininity in You & Your Partner
No matter what our gender, we all have feminine aspects in our personalities, and so does your romantic partner (current or future if you are seeking a relationship).
So we can ask ourselves and reflect:
In Yourself:
Have you ever felt "too feminine"?
Have you ever had an aversion to the feminine traits of your personality?
In Your Future Romantic Partner:
What kinds of typical feminine qualities would you want in a life-long romantic partner?
Which would you hope your partner didn't have?
In Your Current Romantic Partner:
What typical feminine traits does your partner have?
How do you feel about them?
You can reflect on these... Remove any old negative adjectives like "weak", "sissy", "silly", "frail"... (I'll stop there, but you surely have your own associations, sadly).
How do you appreciate your own feminine traits and your partner's? The attributes we deemed negative may very well have an unexplored, awe-inspiring flip-side.
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